Like You- Part 1 of Chapter 1 (Revised and Redone)

The start of it was great fantastic description!

Good job with this, it's very down to earth and believable on your character's parts.

Nitpicks:

My brother was already in there, brushing his teeth in the obnoxious way he does.

I made my way to an open seat that I knew I wouldn’t be banned from using.

“ Morning, pigtails, so have you heard the news?” She said sucking on a Dum-Dum.

I took it out to see that I had two text messages. I flipped it open and read them.

Two stops later, we finally arrived at the school, [s]and[/s] to meet the treacherous sea of students that were making their way out of cars and buses to [s]meet[/s] catch up with their friends.

It's a good start.

You hooked me from the first word, "Blood" It's a great way to grab a readers attention. (And I'm NOT saying this because it's exactly how I started my story. I even had something about smelling it in the second sentence as well. Same genre, same page. Hmmmm.... lol)

I for one absolutely LOVE the "blood blurring vision" and the "waking up" it established a connection between the main character and the conflict.

And I also get the feeling that the blood trail has to do with the dream. Am I right?

One thing you DO need to work on however, is the character's feelings. The dialouge itself is great. But you just need that little 'umph' in the thoughts of your characters.

Essence of BloodLust wrote:“ Finally,” he said, picking up his backpack and ushering us inside.
“ We can’t control how fast the bus goes, Dillon.” Alexandra reminded him pointedly.
Dillon rolled his eyes.

Essence of BloodLust wrote:Blood. It was all I could smell, all I could think about. I knew there was something that I was sent here to do, something important, but right now my mind was dulled down to the red liquid surrounding me. It was so sweet. I couldn’t resist. I had to drink it. I dipped my hand into the warm pool, bringing it to my lips. I tried to taste the sweet fluid but a voice in my head was screaming at me, too loud to concentrate. Don’t do it!

Why not? There was so much of it and I was so thirsty.
You mustn’t. Again, italicize.
The blood was screaming at me also, begging me. I couldn’t think as finally my own blood blurred my vision and I fell out of consciousness and into a world that I could only describe in one horribly familiar word. Home.

“Aurora, get up! You’re going to miss your bus again!”
I jerked awake, the sudden movement sending me onto the cold hardwood floor. Damn, I hated mornings.
“ Aurora Rose, If I go up there and find that [s]your[/s] you're still in bed…” she let the threat go unfinished.
I got up, rubbing my head through my mass of tangled hair. Why did she have to be so loud in the mornings? Sounds like my mum.
“ I’m up Mom,” I said, making my way across the hall to the bathroom.
My brother was already in there, brushing his teeth in the obnoxious way he does.
“ Hey sis, your hair looks beautiful,” he said, snickering under his breath.
I glared at him. “ Right back at you. Now can you give me some privacy?”
He spit out his toothpaste, wiping his mouth on his [s]pajama[/s] pyjama sleeve. “ Sure, but one more thing,”
“ What?” I asked impatiently.
“ Say Cheese!” he said, blinding me with a flash.
“ Damnit, Ethan!” I screamed, slamming the door in his face.
I heard him chuckle. “ This ones going on Myspace for sure.”
I rolled my eyes. Boys. I think brothers would be more appropriate here.

In 15 minutes I was rushing down the stairs and through the kitchen.
“ Morning,” I said passing my father and kissing him on the cheek.
“ [s]Your[/s] You're in a hurry. Wake up late again?” he asked, watching me as I ran around the kitchen, trying to grab some breakfast.
“ Didn’t you hear mom yelling?”
“ Yeah, but I try to block it out.”
I smiled at him. “Don’t we all.”
I shoved a piece of Pop Tart into my mouth, washing it down with some milk right before I heard the bus honk.
“ Have a good day at school, honey,” he said before hugging me goodbye.
I ran to the door where Ethan was already halfway outside.
“ Hurry it up or [s]your[/s] you're going to be late again. Then they’ll kick you out for sure,” he taunted as I pulled on one worn sneaker.
I glared back at him.
“ Ethan stop antagonizing your sister and get to the bus before you’re both late,” mom said, coming down the stairs with her hands full of garbage.
Ethan gave me one last snide look and then dashed out to the bus.
The horn honked again as I struggled with my shoe lace.
“ Aurora! Get going!” My mother complained. “I’m not going to take you to school again. If you miss it, your [s]gonna walk[/s] walking there.”

I rolled my eyes and picked up my other shoe, flinging my backpack over my shoulder, and running out the door. The doors to the bus opened to let me in and I was greeted by the same bus driver that I had since Kindergarten. Mr. O’Leary.
“ Running late again are we?” he teased.
“ Yup[s],[/s].”
As the bus went back into motion, I moved down the aisles, avoiding bags and people as I made my way to an open seat that I knew I wouldn’t be banned from using.
“ Morning,” I said sitting down next to my best friend Alexandra. Alexandra was about my height, 5’4, and had strawberry blonde hair as apposed to my chestnut brown, and warm brown eyes. She had been my friend ever since 1st grade when she had stood up to some boys that were trying to steal my chalk at recess. She had stuck a Tootsie Pop in one’s hair and it being so hot that day[s],[/s] didn’t help when the teachers had to rip it out. But since then, we have always been together.
“ Morning, pigtails, so have you heard the news?” She said sucking on a Dum-Dum.
I cringed as [s]you[/s] she used my childhood nickname. “ What news?”
She popped out the sucker and licked her lips. “ There’s a new kid starting today. A boy.”
I looked at her in surprise. Not many people would move to a small town like this. I don't like that line. How about 'A small town like this didn't get many new folk/people,' maybe?
“ Do you know his name?”
She shook her head. “ Nope, all I know is that he used to live in another country before he moved here. He was born here but moved when he was young.”
It was amazing how fast such news could travel.
“ I bet he has an accent,” Alexandra said dreamily.
“ Probably[s],[/s].”
Suddenly, my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I took it out to see that I had two text messages. I flipped it open and read them. It was from my friend Dillon, asking when I was going to get there. He of course was already at school, walking a few yards didn’t take long. He had the privilege of living right next door to the school whereas[s];[/s] I lived on the other side of town. I pressed reply and explained to him how I had woken up late. He replied back with [s]a[/s]: “ Imagine that. Hurry up and get here!” Yeah, I [s]would[/s] could magically make the bus go faster. I wish.
Two stops later, we finally arrived at the school, and the treacherous sea of students that were making their way out of cars and buses to meet up with their friends. Alexandra and me made our way carefully, trying not to bump anyone too much, until we found where Dillon waited.
“ Finally,” he said, picking up his backpack and ushering us inside.
“ We can’t control how fast the bus goes, Dillon[s].[/s],” Alexandra reminded him pointedly.
Dillon rolled his eyes. These people do roll their eyes a lot.
Inside the school was even more hectic. But we finally made it to our usual hang out spot beside the gym and sank to the floor, waiting for the bell to signal the beginning of school.

While we were waiting, Dillon began to tell us what had happened to him last night, the reason he had been so impatient earlier. He had snuck out, again, to explore the area around his new summerhouse outside of town when he had stumbled on a trail of blood. He swore it hadn’t belonged to an animal.
“ Oh please!” Alexandra exclaimed. “ Like we’re really gonna fall for that. What else would it have been?”
“ A human? Look there was a lot of blood and the tracks weren’t paw prints or anything.”
“ Then what kind of prints where they?” Alexandra challenged.
“I don’t know,” Dillon admitted.
I decided to intervene. “ Well we could all go check it out after school or something. Maybe we could figure it out.”
Alexandra made a disgusted face. “ Eww, count me out. Not that I’m not all for a hiking trip but I would rather not look for a mangled animal before supper. Besides, what if it’s a bear or something?”
“ What if it’s a human?” Dillon pushed again, not giving in.
“ You know that’s bull-”
[s]And the bell rang.[/s] The bell rang, cutting her off.
We gathered our stuff and as Alexandra began to walk away, I grabbed her arm.
“ Please, Alex. Will you come with us?” I hated begging but I really didn’t want to go without her.
She looked at me, appraising my pleading eyes, then sighed. “ Fine, but if I get mauled, you owe me an eternity of servitude.”
I nodded, and then watched as she walked away before turning to follow Dillon to our 1st period class.